This is not so much an Ask Ashley post, but more of a Tell Ashley post, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
First and foremost many of you know we are in the process of adding another babe to the family. However, Thomas has just started to peak on his no sharing mom and dad, toys, and house with other kids stage. So my question is were there any special things you did when you had or came home with Baby #2 to make the transition easier? Mind you he still doesn't comprehend that anything will be changing in the next 3 weeks, as much as we try to point to the monster belly and explain.
(Our son, the future nun)
Lastly, Nolan is out of town for 3 days so it's just me and Mr. T. Even though I should be use to it after a week without him last week, it's different because we're not around family, and a big city. Any suggestions on how to make the time go by without the hubby around?
Ignore my freaky face in this one, I was focused on getting a shot of Thomas looking when the timer went off! Also for those who are interested, I went to the doctor yesterday and everything looks good, they don't check to see if you are dilated here unless you request it, so I'm not sure if anything has changed.
17 comments:
My few thoughts...#1 Divvy up your time. Make sure their is alone or special time for Thomas with you. I would leave Thom with the babe and Seth and I would go run errands or read books in bed together. It made life feel normal for both of us. They can totally sense when baby is taking priority, makes them all jealous & naughty so do your best. Their is bound to be adjustment issues. It's amazing how they suddenly just adjust back to life with a sibling and then their sad to be away from them.#2 All you need is diapers and a place for her to sleep. Enjoy yourself and nap with Thomas. Soak up being a family of 3. Enjoy Thomas too. Another baby makes them grow up. Snuggle him lots. #3 Teach Thomas to play the Wii?!? Sorry no great ideas. Only wish we could hang out together. Seth loves to make play doh and slime. I get online and get recipes, we make it, he plays for hours. Not sure if Thomas is quite into that yet. Sorry so long. Good luck with everything.
Wow, lots of questions, sorry no brilliant answers here. You could make dinners to freeze for future use? Go on walks, take Thomas out, all of the things you won't be able to do with a newborn, or with 2 kids even. Remember Thomas is almost 2, sounds like he is just acting his age. I bet you'll be surprised how loving he'll be with his sister. He's going to be a great big bro. Maybe make him excited to be a big brother and mommy's helper? Good luck, and when baby comes make sure to give him as much attention as possible. He'll learn to share, eventually!
Steph
You stumped me on all those questions! Sounds like you're more than ready for baby. I should get going on all those things you listed. I guess my only advice is to try and rest and relax these last few weeks before you're getting no sleep again. As far as Thomas, I've been trying to get Kaleb outside as much as possible cause it's almost rainy season here. You probably don't feel like lots of physical stuff, but most the time I just sit at the park and let him play. Yes, I'm lazy. Sorry Nolan is gone agian :( Call me if you want. You're a great mommy and everything will be fine.
I'd say paint a room, but you probably can't do that? I'd just try to be outside and go shopping, stock up on food storage, etc. It gets harder to do stuff with two - impossible with four! Just wait! A suggestion with Thomas: if you don't have a doll for him, go buy one and teach him how to hold it, change it's diaper, wrap it in a blanket, etc. Teach him how fragile it is. Also, when the baby comes, when you're holding and feeding a baby, he can hold and feed his baby. I think it's good to make him feel special too and have Nolan take him out for some special Father/Son times. It will be good for them and good for you.
Oh yeah, Kaleb's favorite place to go is the library. They have a whole kid section that entertains him for at least an hour or more. Do you know where yours is?
my advice is, just watch tori and dean and see what they do. if only we could all be inn love parents of two (w/ a team of professional nannies, cleaners, designers, etc.)
oh man, those last 3 weeks are the worst, the anticipation, uncomfortable, yadda yadda yadda. Well on the bright side your baby shower is tomorrow and I'm thinking about taking my boys to the fair tonight if you want to tag along, we could put Thomas in the double jogger so you wont have to worry about him running around crazy (like my children) call me or I'll call you:)
I have a few thoughts! Have mr. T be your #1 helper! Right now, Preston loves to help he'll get me a diaper, throw a diaper away, get the binki for me, and his favorite is to pat Lakin's back for a burp. It's not that comfortable for me... he crawls all over me and sits on my lap and tries to get to the baby and wiggles, but after a few mins. he's done and on to something new.
To pass the time while hubby is gone... rent some movies! And eat some ice cream! I wish I could do that right now!
If you have everything ready for the baby, I say just relax. Sleep, lay around and read, or whatever cause soon you will be very tired! I'm excited for you!
hi friend :) I don't have any suggestions for adding a second baby, but I'm practically a pro at being the wife of a traveling man. In the beginning I think I kind of wasted away just waiting for him to come home, and the time has gone a lot faster since I've forced myself to do stuff. It always really helps me if I have something big to do everyday because then it's more of a countdown for me. For example, Thursday is always "clean everything" day because that's when he comes home--and it takes me all day because I've let it go while he's gone. Go exploring, do projects----it always really helps me if I make lists because then when my mind is blank and I feel like there's "nothing" to do, it reminds me of all the things I can do. I'm sure it's rough because you're at the end of the pregnancy and you might not feel like doing anything. I don't feel like this helped. I should have called so we could talk! I think about you all the time!
My advice for Thomas adjusting: Let him go with you and pick out a toy or clothes for the new baby. Have him wrap it up and then bring it to the new baby in the hopsital. I was also going to suggest the new doll idea as well. Have a basket of books available so that while you are feeding the baby you can read to him.
As for Nolan being gone: I feel your pain. Andy was gone for two months. Remember to take time for yourself. Take a bubble bath, get a good book or rent your fave movie.
Good luck with all of the new changes.
I wish I had some piece of advice but I really have nothing.All I can say is I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything goes well. Everyone else has wonderful advice I loved Emily's. As far as making the time go by I wish I knew the trick as well -just focus on one day at a time and eventually he'll be home before you know it. Best of Luck!
Sounds like you are ready. I say watch her closeley, because you never know when he will want to snuggle and get to close! I caught Tyson climbing all ver Jamen. He will do good I am sure. I love all the people above advice. I like Jenny's and your friend EMily!
Best wishes
Liz
Every child is so different, you never know what is going to work until you try it. So I would say try everything you can, who know's it might just work. As far as not sharing goes, it is a tough stage that is so frustrating, but even more frusrating for the child. Just do what you know is best and he will catch on...eventually. Remember to take some time for yourself when you are overwhelmed.
Gosh! I can't believe you are so close. All my advice other people already said. Make as much food as you can before. It comes in handy even months later! Try to have something new for Thomas too. People want to come and give you and the baby presents, and sometimes they get forgotten. It doesn't have to be huge, even a new (toy:) car is neat. It's all about the present to open just for him. Sleep while you can, but not too much so your body doesn't get used to 10 hours of sleep a day! Because you won't get it! Enjoy Thomas. He is such a cutie, soon he is going to seem sooo big.
You will do wonderful with 2. There were a few times they were both crying and I sat down and cried too, but it didn't hurt any of us. It doesn't hurt them to cry for a little bit while you take care of the other one. Especially the baby, she will be fine if you need to take care of Thomas for a bit. What a fun time! You are so organized and prepared that you will do well. Thomas is a normal kid. He will have some really really naughty days, and that's just because he's 2 and someone else has come to share Mom and Dad. So expect it and you won't feel like you are failing. I used to nurse Christopher and read books to Brandon, a little tricky, but good for both.
All that is such a mumble jumble, but that's okay! Good Luck! You will do great!
When I had Lilly someone told me to always tend to the older one first ( if both are crying or needing something at the same time) because the baby won't remember and the older one will-that way Thomas will see that he hasn't lost his "place." You will do great with 2. It has honestly been so great for us. As for the no sharing thing, I swear that is just being 2! They all go through it. And about being home with out Nolan- I have just learned to embrace it!! I rent movies, don't cook... we eat cold cereal when he is gone, almost always for dinner - it's great. I really miss him, though. I don't think I will ever get used to it, I just had to accept it and let it go and make the best of it while he is gone. Easier said than done. Good luck!
I know I'm late:) but what has always worked for me to start out with positive feelings between baby and toddler is that the baby brings Thomas a gift -- a little toy. So when he comes to the hospital for the first time, have a gift for him that is from the little one. . . Eden especially loved that one. . . both times. You are going to do amazing!!!! And you got some great advice!
wait, i have something else. another fun idea is to have a "big brother" party after the baby comes home. I did that with Eden and that is when she got her own baby doll. She had cupcakes and we had people over who all celebrated her big sister-ness :). Or you could make him a tee shirt that said big brother or. . .
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